| Editorial Change | Affects: Style Meaning |
||
|---|---|---|---|
| 1. | Removing italics. | • | • |
| 2. | Changing insets. | • | • |
| 3. | Changing capitalization. | • | |
| 4. | Changing “inappropriate” words. | • | • |
| 5. | Changing “archaic” words or words not in current American usage. | • | • |
| 6. | Changing sentences to achieve “gender sensitivity.” | • | • |
| 7. | Changing punctuation, especially commas, semicolons, and insertion of em dashes. | • | • |
| 8. | Changing paragraph breaks. | • | |
| 9. | Americanizing of spelling from original British. | • | |
| 10. | Changing which to that. | • | |
| 11. | Arbitrary rewordings. | • | • |
| Table 2. Editing of Insets in The Problem of Sex and The Sanctification of Marriage |
|
| Unchanged: | 8 |
| Changed Meaning: | 10 |
| Changed Style or Tone: | 6 |
| Total: | 24 |
| Table 3. Comparison of Insets in The Problem of Sex | ||
| 6th Edition | 7th Edition | Discussion of Changes |
| Arising of problem of sex | Element of sex | The rewrite is useless. It conveys no information about the associated text. |
| Opposites of indulgence and mechanical repression equally disappointing | Opposites of indulgence and repression | The rewrite deletes mechanical and equally disappointing, reducing information and providing metadata rather than data. |
| False promises of the opposites | False promises of opposites | The rewrite eliminates the. The original trips better off the tongue. |
| Renunciation of craving made possible through awakening | Renunciation of craving through awakening | The deletion of made possible removes descriptive information. |
| Indulgence and repression relative to craving | Understanding craving | The rewrite replaces Indulgence and repression relative to with understanding, reducing information and providing metadata rather than data. |
| Restraint nearer to freedom than indulgence | Restraint nearer to freedom than indulgence | No change. |
| Possibilities of celibacy and marriage | Possibilities of celibacy or marriage | The change from and to or implies a shift in meaning, which is arguably more accurate than the original, as the accompanying text discusses an either-or choice for the aspirant between marriage and celibacy. On the other hand, viewed from a broader perspective, the exclusionary implication of the rewrite is less accurate. Indeed, the possibility and benefits of both are stressed later in this section and also in the following section, The Sanctification of Marriage. The original and better expresses the simultaneous possibilities than does the more limiting or. The rewrite is more consistent with contemporary emphasis on sex. |
| Path of perfection open in celibacy and in marriage | Path of perfection open through celibacy or marriage | The change from in to through follows a standard editorial practice of eliminating repetitive words. However, the telegraphic nature of the rewrite subtly reduces the emphasis on the possibility of perfection in marriage. |
| Necessity of clear choice | Necessity of clear choice | No change. |
| Dangers of promiscuity | Dangers of promiscuity | No change. |
| Infinity attainable through intelligent handling of marriage | Infinity attainable through marriage | The rewrite eliminates useful information. |
| Nonrestrictive Example | Restrictive Example |
| The use of commas, which is important to editors, is irrelevant to most people. | The topics that are important to editors are irrelevant to most people. |
| Example of a Change in Tone | |
| 6th Edition | 7th Edition |
| The consciousness of the gross world which it has in the beginning is of the most partial and rudimentary type.
(Vol. 2, page 140) |
The consciousness of the gross world that it has
in the beginning is of the most partial and rudimentary type. (page 224) |
| Example of a Change in Meaning | |
| 6th Edition | 7th Edition |
| . . . hence spiritual progress cannot be said to be automatic in the sense that it will come about without the active effort of the person concerned. (Vol. 3, page 94) |
Hence spiritual progress cannot be said to be automatic, in the sense that it will come about without the active effort of the person concerned. (page 337) |
| 6th Edition | 7th Edition |
| In the last chapter I have explained those methods of removing sanskaras which depend chiefly on the principle of negating the positive sanskaras which veil the Truth from consciousness and prevent self-illumination, for which the whole creation came into being. . . . (Vol. 1, page 77) |
At the end of Part I, the methods of removing sanskaras are explained that depend chiefly on the principle of negating the positive sanskaras, which also veil the Truth from consciousness and prevent self-illumination—for which the whole creation came into being. . . . (page 49) |
| Table 5. Insertion of Commas, Semicolons, Em Dashes, Periods, and Paragraph Breaks |
|||||
| , | ; | — | . | ¶ | |
| The Problem of Sex | 7 | 1 | 4 | 2 | 3 |
| The Sanctification of Marriage | 9 | 4 | 2 | 2 | 4 |
| The Problem of Sex 6th Edition |
The Problem of Sex 7th Edition |
|
SEX is decidedly one of the most important problems
with which the human mind is confronted in the domain of duality. It is
one of the “givens” in the make-up of human nature with which one has
to deal. Arising of problem of sex Like
everything else in human life, sex comes to be considered through the
opposites which are the necessary creations of the limited mind. Just
as the mind tries to fit life into a scheme of alternatives such as joy
or pain, good or bad, solitude or company, attraction or repulsion, so
in relation to sex it tends to think of indulgence and repression as
alternatives from which there is no escape. It seems as if man must
accept the one alternative or the other. Yet he cannot whole-heartedly
accept either, for when he tries repression he is dissatisfied with his
lot and longingly thinks of indulgence. When he tries indulgence he
becomes conscious of his bondage to the senses and seeks freedom by
going back to mechanical repression. The mind remains dissatisfied with
both alternatives and there thus arises one of the most vital and complicated problems of human life. |
SEX is decidedly one of the most important problems with which the
human mind is confronted in the domain of duality. It is one of the givens in the make-up of human nature that one has to deal with. Element of sexLike everything else in human life, sex comes to be judged through the opposites, which are the necessary creations of the limited mind. Just as the mind tries to fit life into a scheme of alternatives—such as joy or pain, good or bad, solitude or company, attraction or repulsion—[word deleted] in relation to sex it tends to think of indulgence and repression as alternatives from which there is no escape.
|
| The Sanctification of Marriage 6th Edition |
The Sanctification of Marriage 7th Edition |
|
MOST
persons enter into married life as a matter of course, but marriage
will become a help or a hindrance according to the manner in which it
is handled. There is no doubt that some of the immense spiritual
possibilities are accessible through a married life, but all this
depends upon having the right attitude. Married life, a spiritual enterprise
From the spiritual point of view, married life will be a success only
if it is thoroughly determined by the vision of Truth. It cannot offer
much if it is based upon nothing more than the limited motives of mere
sex, or if it is inspired by considerations which usually prevail in
business partnership. It has to be undertaken as a real spiritual enterprise which is intended to discover what life can be at its best. When
the two partners launch together upon the spiritual adventure of
exploring the higher possibilities of spirit, they cannot at the outset
limit their experiment by any nice calculations concerning the nature
and amount of individual gain.
|
MOST persons enter into married life as a matter of course, but
marriage will become a help or a hindrance according to the
manner in which it is handled. There is no doubt that some of the
immense spiritual possibilities are accessible through [word deleted] married life, but all this depends upon having the right
attitude. Married life a spiritual enterprise From the spiritual point of view, married life will be a success only if it is thoroughly determined by the vision of
Truth. It cannot offer much if it is based upon nothing more than
the limited motives of mere sex, or if it is inspired by
considerations that usually prevail in [a]
business partnership. It has to be undertaken as a real spiritual
enterprise [that] is intended to discover what life can be at its best. When
the two partners launch together upon the spiritual adventure of
exploring the higher possibilities of the spirit[,] they cannot at the outset limit their experiment by any nice calculations
concerning the nature and amount of individual gain. |
| Paragraphs (6th Edition) | Paragraphs (7th Edition) | |
| 1. | Volume II, page 94: There is a hoary custom that after the aspirant has the darshana of a Master and falls at his feet, he washes the Master’s feet with milk and honey and places a coconut near them as his offering. Honey represents red sanskaras, milk represents white sanskaras and the coconut represents the mind. Thus this convention which has become established in some areas in connection with greeting the Masters, really symbolises throwing the burden of all sanskaras on the Master and surrendering the mind to him. Adoption of this inner attitude constitutes the most critical and important step which the aspirant must take in order to get initiated on the Path. | Page 187: There is an ancient tradition that after the aspirant has the darshan of a Master and falls at his feet, he washes the Master’s feet with milk and honey and places a coconut near them as his offering. Honey represents red (bad) sanskaras, milk represents white (good) sanskaras, and the coconut represents the mind. Thus the convention, which has become established in some areas in connection with greeting the Masters, really symbolizes throwing the burden of all sanskaras on the Master and surrendering the mind to him. Adoption of this inner attitude constitutes the most critical and important step that the aspirant must take in order to get initiated on the spiritual path. |
| Hoary custom is a quirky and enjoyable turn of phrase. The rewording, ancient tradition, belongs in an anthropology textbook. The parenthetical explanations of red and white sanskaras are not inaccurate but not needed. The recasting of Path to spiritual path throughout is diminution of style, but more importantly, it diminishes the sense of specialness imparted by Path. | ||
| 2. | Volume III, page 75: Roughly speaking, today on the whole the East has developed more along spiritual lines than material lines, with the result that the Eastern mind has a spontaneous aspiration for God. The West, on the whole, has developed more along material lines than spiritual material lines, with the result that the Western mind has a spontaneous urge toward intellectual and artistic things. | Page 321: Generally speaking, today on the whole the East has developed more along spiritual lines than material lines, with the result that the Eastern mind has a more spontaneous aspiration for God. The West, on the whole, has developed more along material lines than spiritual material lines, with the result that the Western mind has a more spontaneous urge toward intellectual and artistic things. |
| The arbitrary change from roughly to generally serves no purpose. The two additions of more are probably intended to “prevent confusion” in the reader by qualifying their respective statements. Or perhaps the changes are meant to soften what the editors perceived as politically incorrect assertions. In any case, these additions change meaning and are based on an assumption that the original sentences are wrong. | ||
| 3. | Volume II, page 31: Impressions connected with the subtle world get worn out in turn through some forms of penance or yoga. | Page 137: Impressions connected with the subtle world get worn out in turn through, for instance, some forms of penance or yoga. |
| The addition of for instance is probably intended to clarify meaning. Perhaps the original wording was thought to imply that only some forms of penance or yoga wear out the sanskaras being discussed. Clarifications, when ambiguous like this, can corrupt meaning. | ||
| 4. | Volume II, page 139: How does the soul get caught up in illusion? How did the Formless, Infinite and Eternal Soul come to experience itself as having form, and as being finite and destructible? How did Purusha, or the Supreme Spirit, come to think of itself as Prakriti or the world of nature? In other words, what is the cause of the cosmic illusion in which the soul finds itself? To realise the true status of the Oversoul — which is One, Indivisible, Real, and Infinite — the soul needed consciousness. The soul did get consciousness, but this consciousness was not of God but of the universe; not of the Oversoul but of its shadow; not of the One but of many, not of the Infinite but of the finite; not of the Eternal but of the transitory. Thus the soul, instead of realising the Oversoul, gets involved in the cosmic illusion, and hence, though really infinite, it comes to experience itself as finite. In other words, when the soul develops consciousness it does not become conscious of its own true nature but of the phenomenal world, which is its own shadow. | Page 223: How does the soul get caught up in Illusion? How did the formless, infinite[,] and eternal Soul come to experience itself as having form[,] and as being finite and destructible? How did Purusha, or the supreme Spirit, come to think of itself as [prakriti], or the world of nature? In other words, what is the cause of the cosmic Illusion in which the individualized soul finds itself? To realize the true status of the Oversoul — which is one, indivisible, real, and infinite — the soul needs consciousness. The soul does get consciousness; however this consciousness is not of God but of the universe, not of the Oversoul but of its shadow, not of the One but of many, not of the Infinite but of the finite, not of the Eternal but of the transitory. Thus the soul, instead of realizing the Oversoul, gets involved in [the] cosmic Illusion; and hence, though really infinite, it comes to experience itself as finite. In other words, when the soul develops consciousness, it does not become conscious of its own true nature but of the phenomenal world, which is its own shadow. |
| This passage from The Divine Truths (for meditation through reading) underwent such a frenzy of profligate changes it is difficult to know where to start. The highlighting speaks for itself. Of particular interest are the three sentences rewritten into present tense. These changes remove a sense of time and journey, which is what this paragraph is about. But beyond the particulars, the editing changes to the Meditation for Reading are profoundly distressing. Baba specifically provided these words as a meditation. From the paragraph immediately preceding the Meditation for Reading: “If the aspirant meditates upon the following exposition of the Divine Truths in the manner which has been elaborately indicated above, meditation will become not only spontaneous and easy, delightful and inspiring, but also helpful and successful. He will thus be taking a very important step towards the realisation of the goal of life.” Changing this meditation, given the significance Baba assigned to it, is terribly wrong and dangerous. | ||
| 5. | Volume II, page 102: With the exception of such general knowledge about fundamentals, however, the Masters have consistently preferred to attach minimum importance to the spread of detailed knowledge about occult realities, and have even scrupulously withheld information concerning those points likely to have vital bearing upon occultism as an art. | Page 194: [However,] with the exception of such general knowledge about fundamentals, the Masters have consistently preferred to attach minimum importance to the spread of detailed knowledge about occult [phenomena]. [They] have even scrupulously withheld information concerning those points likely to have vital bearing upon occultism as an art. |
| The italics are removed and the sentence is arbitrarily rewritten into two. The arbitrary change of realities to phenomena imparts a scientific or philosophical feeling. Changing the word reality, in any of its forms, requires that it be changed consistently in similar contexts; otherwise one can imagine antagonistic schools of interpretation arising around the issue of 'realities vs phenomena'. In any case, the lower case realities can not be confused with the Reality of God, which is consistently capitalized throughout the 6th edition. A note on inconsistency: in other places (and without a consistent discernable strategy) the 7th edition replaces Master with Perfect Master, a change not made in this passage. | ||
| 6. | Volume I, page 167: It is not right to deprive the present of all importance by subordinating it to an end in the future, for this means the imaginary accumulation of all importance in the imagined future rather than the perception and realisation of the true importance of everything that now exists. There cannot be ebb and tide in eternity, no meaningless intervals between intermittent harvests, but a fullness of being which cannot suffer impoverishment of a single instant. When life seems to be idle or empty it is not due to any curtailment of the infinity of the Truth, but it is due to one’s own lack of capacity to enter into its full possession. | Page 119: It is not right to deprive the present of all importance by subordinating it to an end in the future. For this means the imaginary accumulation of all importance in the imagined future rather than the perception and realization of the true importance of everything that exists in the eternal Now. There cannot be [an ebb and flow] in eternity, no meaningless intervals between intermittent harvests, but a fullness of being [that] cannot suffer impoverishment [for] a single instant. When life seems to be idle or empty, it is not due to any curtailment of the infinity of the Truth, but to one’s own lack of capacity to enter into its full possession. |
| These are arbitrary edits. Breaking the first sentence into two fractures an exquisite flow of thought and language. Changing ebb and tide to ebb and flow replaces a lovely touch with a cliché. The tiny change of of to for in the sentence, “ . . . but a fullness of being which cannot suffer impoverishment of a single instant.” erodes the richness of meaning. Of conveys a sense of the indivisible inclusiveness of eternity; for does not. This preposition expresses divine knowledge; the change lowers the document to our level. | ||
| 7. | Volume I, page 82: While meditation on the personal and impersonal aspects of God requires withdrawal of consciousness into the sanctuary of one’s own heart, concentration on the universal aspect of God is best achieved through selfless service of humanity. When the soul is completely absorbed in the service of humanity, it is completely oblivious of its own body or mind or their functions, as in meditation, and therefore new sanskaras are not formed. Further, the old sanskaras which bind the mind are shattered and dispersed. Since the soul is now centering its attention and interest not upon its own good but upon the good of others, the nucleus of the ego is deprived of its nourishing energy. Selfless service is therefore one of the best methods of diverting and sublimating the energy locked up in the binding sanskaras. | Page 53: While meditation on the personal and impersonal aspects of God requires withdrawal of consciousness into the sanctuary of one’s own heart, concentration on the universal aspect of God is best achieved through selfless service [for] humanity. When a person is completely absorbed in the service of humanity, he is completely oblivious of his own body or mind or their functions, as in meditation; and therefore new sanskaras are not formed. Further, the old sanskaras that bind the mind are shattered and dispersed. Since the individual is now centering his attention and interest not upon his own good but upon the good of others, the nucleus of the ego is deprived of its nourishing energy. Selfless service is therefore one of the best methods of diverting and sublimating the energy locked up in the binding sanskaras. |
| The word soul in the 6th edition is replaced with individual and person, and to accommodate these changes the gender-neutral it is changed to the masculine he and his four times. The change to masculine forms reworks perfectly comprehensible sentences in a way that, strangely, violates one of the purported editing justifications. | ||
| 8. | Volume II, page 79: For a car to move toward its destination a driver is necessary. But this driver may be susceptible to strong attachments for things that he encounters on the way, and he might not only halt at intervening places for an indefinite time, but also get lost in the wayside in pursuit of things that have only temporary charm. In that case he might keep the car moving all the time but without coming nearer the goal, and he might even get further away from it. Something like this happens when the ego assumes control of human consciousness. The ego may be compared to a driver who has a certain amount of control over a car and a certain capacity to drive it, but who is in complete darkness about its ultimate destination. | Page 175: For a car to move toward its destination, a driver is necessary. However, the driver may be susceptible to strong attractions for things that he encounters on the way; and he might not only halt at intervening places for an indefinite time[,] but also get lost by the wayside in pursuit of things that have only temporary charm. Thus he might keep the car moving all the time but without coming nearer the goal, and he might even get further away from it. Something like this happens when the ego assumes control of human consciousness. The ego may be compared to a driver who has a certain amount of control over a car and a certain capacity to drive it, but who is in complete darkness about its ultimate destination. |
| These arbitrary edits effect a trace diminution of style. The change of in to by in the sentence, “ . . . but also get lost in the wayside in pursuit of things that have only temporary charm.” reduces the richness of meaning of getting lost in the wayside. | ||
| 9 | Volume I, page 164: Love is the reflection of God’s unity in the world of duality. It constitutes the entire significance of creation. If love is excluded from life, all the souls in the world assume complete externality to each other and the only possible relations would be superficial and mechanical. It is because of love that the contacts and relations between individual souls become significant. It is love which gives meaning and value to all the happenings in the world of duality. But, while love gives meaning to the world of duality, it is at the same time a standing challenge to duality. As love gathers strength, it generates creative restlessness and becomes the main driving power of that spiritual dynamic which ultimately succeeds in restoring to consciousness the original unity of being. | Page 116: Love is the reflection of God’s unity in the world of duality. It constitutes the entire significance of creation. If love were excluded from life, all the souls in the world would assume complete externality to each other; and the only possible relations would be superficial and mechanical. It is because of love that the contacts and relations between individual souls become significant. It is love that gives meaning and value to all the happenings in the world of duality. But[,] while love gives meaning to the world of duality, it is at the same time a standing challenge to duality. As love gathers strength, it generates creative restlessness and becomes the main driving power of that spiritual dynamic which ultimately succeeds in restoring to consciousness the original unity of [B]eing. |
| The third sentence is edited twice. Present tense is changed to the subjunctive future conditional with the addition of were/would. This unnecessary change is not grammatically incorrect. (Strict adherence to subjunctive rules is fading in common usage.) The third sentence clauses are also separated with the insertion of a semicolon after other. This interrupts the flow of one of the great statements of the twentieth century. The separation of clauses is a reason to use a semicolon, but it is by no means required. | ||
| 10. | Volume I, page 26: Some of the desires have mere latency of action, but others can actually translate themselves into action. The capacity of a desire to find expression in conduct depends upon the intensity and amount of sanskaras connected with it. To use a geometrical metaphor, we might say that when a desire passes into action, it traverses a distance that is equal to the radius of a circle describing the boundary of the sanskaras connected with it. When a desire gathers sufficient strength, it projects itself into action for getting fulfilled. | Page 10: With some of the desires action is merely latent, but others can actually translate themselves into action. The capacity of a desire to find expression in conduct depends upon the intensity and amount of sanskaras connected with it. To use a geometric metaphor, we might say that when a desire passes into action, it traverses a distance that is equal to the radius of a circle describing the boundary of the sanskaras connected with it. When a desire gathers sufficient strength, it projects itself into action in order to get fulfilled. |
| Recasting the first part of the first sentence accomplishes nothing and removes the parallel construction of the clauses. Similarly, the insertion of in order to in the final sentence accomplishes nothing and slows the cadence. The change from geometrical to geometric erases a hint of the original British, and otherwise accomplishes nothing. | ||